Pre Adoption

Aspiring adoptive parents who reach out to us to talk about adoption are requested to consider a few areas in this journey.

 

Pre-Adoption

While the focus seems to be on the application process here, that is actually the easiest part.  All legal adoptions are through application on CARA’s website (link: http://cara.nic.in/Parents/eg_ri.html) and the process is fairly straight forward.  Usually, there are more parents waiting to adopt than there are children cleared for adoption, so aspiring adoptive parents need to be prepared for a wait.

 

In that time, we suggest that the couple/single parent prepare themselves to parent.  The adoption journey is the same in several ways but also different in significant ways.

 

• Parents entering the process due to infertility: Preparing for a pregnancy month on month, sometimes over several years is a stressful process.  Parenting also comes with our own wishes, expectations and hopes.  Letting go of the thought of a biological child and preparing to parent a child who isn’t genetically related to you requires preparation.  This is often through counseling, best done with all parties in the process: couple or single parent.

 

• All aspiring adoptive parents: Adoption starts with a loss for the child (and for some parents too, as above). Understanding the nuances of the core issues that come with adoption and some of the parenting challenges that do crop up in various ways is great preparation for parents-to-be.  Pre-adoptive counseling is a good exercise to seek out and get support.  Talking to many adoptive parents, with children at different ages and personalities is also a great idea.  SuDatta can help in these areas by putting you in touch with adoptive parents and giving you access to sessions for aspirant adoptive parents. We also have several adoptee voices from India to listen to.

 

 

Some references for those who like to read and learn are

 

• Adopting a child in India: 8 myths to discard at Women’s Web

 

• The Family of Adoption by Joyce Maguire Pavao: We, at SuDatta, have had the privilege of being addressed by Dr. Pavao in 2021. Her book combines her personal experience of being an adoptee with her decades of professional experience with qualifications from Harvard University, Cambridge, MA

 

• Dear Birthmother: Thank you for our baby by Kathleen Silber and Phyllis Speedlin: This book is an insightful understanding into the thoughts of adoptive parents and the birth family through an open adoption. While open adoptions do not happen in India, the areas addressed in parenting are very well addressed here.

 

 

Podcasts:

• Suno India’s Dear Pari has two seasons of podcasts that cover the gamut of stakeholders in the process, from adoptive parents, counselors, adoptees, a birth mother and others.

 

• Filter Koffee: Ujaala Chaudhari on Being an Adoptee: The story of a young girl to her current, successful life in the advertising industry today. There is lots to learn and admire here.